I think I'm numb. It must be a survival instinct or something. Sometimes I just don't feel ANYTHING. And I'm starting to feel like this blog is full of depressing posts, but oh well. Maybe things will pick up in the next few months or so.
Anyway, yeah so I'm numb. I used to think that I could turn it on and off depending on the situation, but now I'm starting to think it's not all under my control. Like, sometimes I want to feel something, and I try to force it and fake it, but it's really just not there. It scares me a little - the fact that I can be so detached from my emotions when I KNOW that I am a naturally comapssionate and sensitive person most of the time. Sometimes I have to check myself and make sure I'm not suffering from depression. I used to think that depression meant I would be moping around and sad all the time, but now I know that it can manifest itself in many ways. I don't think that's what this is right now though. I think it's my emotions taking a back seat so that I don't blackout on somebody (if you know what I mean). So maybe I should thank my emotions for knowing when to chill out. Thanks :)
P.S. - Babyface is absolutely wonderful. I forgot how great his songs were. Just thought I'd mention that.
4 comments:
1. that picture is dope
2. i think our bodies are incredibly smart. they know when to get us to do what we need to do (ie. eat, shit, sleep, fuck, cry, etc.). so definitely listen to what happens naturally. right now, like you said, may be a very bad time to experience one more emotion on top of all the other ones you feel. def normal.
coo...
I read this, nothing much to report. sometimes I will just write dee to let you know i read something.
your crazy not numb.
do you ever get that Im getting older feeling.
Thanks.
Post a Comment