Wednesday, July 11, 2007

F U!!

They say you can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar - but guess what.....I'm all out of honey.

I swear I would be a bitch 85% more of the time if
1.) I didn't believe in Karma and
2.) I wasn't a little bit compassionate and care about other people's feelings.

It's SO easy to be mean and it's actually harder to be nice - in my opinion. That doesn't make me a bad person - no, no, no, not at all. I just think that selfishness and asshole-ish-ness (yes I just made that word up) are natural human traits that everyone has and some people suppress it (DAMMIT! I just spilled coffee on my keyboard!!) better than others. I think I do a pretty good job of suppressing it most times; but lately I am having a bit of an issue. The evil thoughts and smart comments are coming more frequently in my head and it's getting more and more challenging to think before I let something slip out my mouth, or let a certain look come across my face. I don't want to be perceived as being a bitch - especially to certain people - because that just feeds into one of the many negative stereotypes about my people. But being sweet as pie all the time is not good either - it makes me sick actually. I guess you just have to find a balance between the two, but then people will call me bi-polar or say I have borderline personality disorder, so now what? I guess I don't have to go to extremes, and maybe it won't be as noticeable.

Ugh - I think I'm just in a bad mood for some reason. I hate when I get like this. I know I'll snap out of it - let's just hope I don't actually snap first.