Randomness

I think one of the main causes of traffic jams is due to slow drivers - that's it. I mean, there's the occasional fender bender or what have you - but the main cause is just people who don't love themselves or their lives and are in no hurry to go do something. If they would speed the hell up, we would all get where we need to go much faster.

Yesternight I put together a bench. Not a park bench (like someone else assumed) but a bench that sits at the foot of my bed. I like to be all up in the tv when I watch, so now I don't have to sit on the edge with my feet hanging over the footboard anymore. So when I came home and saw the box sitting there, of course I said - ok, let me put this together. I was hype! It was fun.

Apparently even after 2+ years of knowing someone, some things are still being discovered. I know this will happen for awhile, but it still makes me feel like "umm, do you even know me?". Like the fact that I put the bench together and you were so impressed - I mean, did you think I was just talking because I had lips when I told you I liked working with my hands and once considered being a carpenter or a mechanic? Or when you looked in my cd case and didn't realize I liked DMX? Like, WTF!? Pay attention!!

I love music. It's like a drug and I'm addicted. I fell off though. I used to keep up and now I'm getting lost in the sauce. Probably because most new music sucks so who cares anyway, but I need to keep up with those who actually have talent too.

I want to take a trip to ATL. I had a ball down there and I'd love to go back. Who has the time or money though? I just have to find a way.

Here we go....

I have a problem. Apparently I'm never satisfied. Well, that's not it exactly - the problem is my satisfaction depends strictly on my specified requests, and if my requests are met but exceed or fall short of my expectations - THEN I'm not satisfied. The problem is, how many times can something meet my exact desires? Not very often.

I said I wanted a female friend - I got one. Careful what you ask for. And see, I KNEW this about myself, but there's no way to explain this certain conundrum about my personality without coming off like some sort of weirdo (and who wants to make friends with a weirdo?) The problem is, I want to be friends when I feel like it; meaning call when I want to, see you when I want to, go out when I want to, talk when I want to. And when I don't want to....you're dismissed- for the time being - until I want to again.

I think I enjoy being by myself a little too much. When I lived alone in Florida, even though I got bored sometimes, for the most part I enjoyed the time to myself. And I used to think that I liked being alone because I grew up in a house full of people and having alone time was something to be treasured, but now I'm realizing that I've always been that way - just a loner.

I feel bad sometimes when my boyfriend asks if I missed him while we were apart and my honest answer is no. It's not that I don't miss him, but I just really enjoy being alone... a lot. Is that bad?? I mean, I like hanging out with people too, but I'm so temperamental that it's probably better for everyone's well being to just keep it at a minimum. If I don't see you for awhile, it makes it all the more enjoyable when we finally DO get to spend time together. Make sense?

So anyway - back to this new friend thing. She sits two doors down from me and we work in the same department. She's almost everything I wanted in a new friend - smart, cute, down-to-earth, likes to laugh - almost perfect! Apparently I'm probably what she was looking for also and now we talk - a lot. More than I'd prefer. On the one hand its good that she's the aggressor in the communication department of our friendship, cuz if you left it up to me, we'd probably speak once a week or something. But at the same time, I need a break sometimes. Since its early on our friendship, I'm trying to deal with it, but honestly its hard. I don't want to have to start dodging her phone calls or anything like that, but we're going to have to find a nice balance that we both can live with. I don't mean to be difficult, but this is why I only have a small amount of friends as it is - I just can't handle it.

We are (not) the world

So I was listening to this radio show with these 4 white guys who are kinda crude and entertaining, and they were talking about Kim Kardashian. Now I'm not a fan of this chick in the least, but I do know who she is and what she looks like. So they had her on the show the day before and now they were talking about how fat they thought she was! Now if you haven't seen this broad, you would have thought she was like some type of elephant the way they were describing her. Like I said, I don't like her at ALL but I think she is attractive and has a great figure - and you KNOW that must be true since I don't even LIKE the chick.

They went on to say that "the brothas" probably appreciated a fat ass like hers. Just hearing them describe her body and what they thought of it reminded me of Hottentot Venus (google her if you don't know) and the way that black women's bodies are perceived by people of other races. Now Kim Kardashian is far from black, and many believe her body has been surgically enhanced (because we know she likes "the brothas" and knows how to attract them) but either way, she is curvaceous like many black women are naturally, and to hear them call her disgusting made me disgusted.

I don't care how many "We Are the World" speeches people like to give - we are NOT the world. We grow up in the same country with different cultures, beliefs, experiences, values and mindsets. Yes we all bleed the same color blood, but that's where the similarities end in my opinion. I can NEVER have the same type of relationship with someone of another race as I can with someone of my own race. And I will go even further to say that it depends on how you were raised and where you grew up also. Country folk and city folk don't always see eye to eye - but I bet you a country black person will still have more in common with a city black person than with any white person. Now I'm not saying this as a matter-of-fact type thing; there are always exceptions to every statement, but in general I do think this is the way it is. I can appreciate, learn from and love people of any race - and appreciate the differences between us, but you will not make me believe we are all one race - GTFOOHWTBS.

And people wonder why I don't have many white friends.

Age Ain't Nothin' But a Number

So, all my life I've been short and I think that has played into why people have always thought that I was younger than I really am. I wouldn't say I have an old face either, but now that is starting to fade.

I used to always get people looking at me funny, then asking how old I was and being surprised when I say an age higher than what they were thinking. Those days are starting to fade away. Now when people look at me and ask how old I am, and I tell them to guess, they usually say "Mmmm, 26?" And I say "Oh.....Yes, actually." And it kinda makes me sad. I buy drinks with my ID out, and they say "Oh, that's ok - no need." They don't even look at it anymore :( Even the old perverted man down the hall who always says I'm cute like a high school cheerleader told me that I'm starting to look more grown up! Not you too Mr. Pedophile! I don't have any plans on trying to make myself look younger, and I'm ok with being 26 - but dang, it was like all of a sudden I went from looking 18 to looking my real age. What happened? What I do? DO I have wrinkles? Maybe these gray hairs aren't as cute as I thought.

Well, I'm still a young vibrant thing, no matter what they said. You're only as old as you feel - and I feel great - like a great 26 year old fabulous woman!