My Indepenence, My Downfall

So I knew this was a weakness of mine, even though it seems like a strength at times. I have a problem asking for help. I know I do - I always have. I think I'm superwoman and can do any and everything by myself. Here's the problem - I really can't, and when I mess up I have no one to blame but myself. Recently at work, I was forced to do a self-assessment and realized that I am missing the mark on some of my objectives. If I would just open my freakin mouth and ask somebody instead of thinking I know it all and everything will work itself out, maybe I'd finally get that promotion I was whining about. I can't even be mad that I haven't gotten it yet - look at me, I take on all this responsibility and can't even handle what I have now - how would I handle more? So many issues would be avoided if I would just tell someone what's going on. What's wrong with me??

And this isn't a new issue, which means I am doing nothing to fix it! I remember my very first waitressing job at Applebee's, my manager stopped me in the kitchen one day and simply said "If you need help, just ask!" But I HATE asking for help!! It's a pride thing, I know it. I don't know why I can't fix it. And the funny thing is, this same attitude is part of the reason my fiance loves me. He loves that I can do things without him and don't need him for every little task. But even HE tells me to ask him for help if I need it - and I still don't usually do it.

I really have to do better. This is going to hinder me more than help me. It will take some work, but I know I have to make a change, or else I will be stuck and all I'll have is my pride to blame.