Spoiled Brat

I never thought I was a spoiled brat until 2006 around my birthday. I was turning 25 and I wanted to go celebrate at a particular place. When the place told me I couldn't celebrate there and there was nothing I could do about it - I darn near had a conniption! And I felt bad about it because I felt like I was pouting for something minor, and I felt like a baby.

The fact is - I don't like to be disappointed, I don't like my plans to be changed and I don't like for someone to tell me no. I mean, who does? But for some odd reason I have been taking those challenges really hard in recent times. When I was younger, either I didn't care as much, didn't get disappointed as much, or rarely got told no. Whatever the case may be, I never felt like a spoiled brat until NOW. Out of all of my flaws, this one bothers me most because it affects my mood and behavior extremely. I want to stop.

This week has been rough on me for numerous reasons. And the overall picture is that I am truly, truly blessed - so I have no real reason to complain. But when issue after issue was arising everyday, I felt like my world was crumbling and it took real effort to say "This is not THAT bad - it will pass, you are blessed, so cut it out." And I almost feel like I'm in some sort of movie or book and now this chapter is over. The storm has seemed to pass and I feel all better now. my problem now is that I need to figure out how to cope better with my emotions when I'm in the midst of the storm. I am so lucky to have a partner who knows this about me and accepts it, because when I say pouty, spoiled and bratty.....man, he gets the brunt of it and he doesn't even care.

I remember a friend once telling me how she was saying to someone how it seems like it's always something happening to her - and he told her "Yeah, it's called LIFE." I think that sums it up right there.

Every day can't be sunny. We need rain to make the flowers grow.