Wednesday, July 11, 2007

F U!!

They say you can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar - but guess what.....I'm all out of honey.

I swear I would be a bitch 85% more of the time if
1.) I didn't believe in Karma and
2.) I wasn't a little bit compassionate and care about other people's feelings.

It's SO easy to be mean and it's actually harder to be nice - in my opinion. That doesn't make me a bad person - no, no, no, not at all. I just think that selfishness and asshole-ish-ness (yes I just made that word up) are natural human traits that everyone has and some people suppress it (DAMMIT! I just spilled coffee on my keyboard!!) better than others. I think I do a pretty good job of suppressing it most times; but lately I am having a bit of an issue. The evil thoughts and smart comments are coming more frequently in my head and it's getting more and more challenging to think before I let something slip out my mouth, or let a certain look come across my face. I don't want to be perceived as being a bitch - especially to certain people - because that just feeds into one of the many negative stereotypes about my people. But being sweet as pie all the time is not good either - it makes me sick actually. I guess you just have to find a balance between the two, but then people will call me bi-polar or say I have borderline personality disorder, so now what? I guess I don't have to go to extremes, and maybe it won't be as noticeable.

Ugh - I think I'm just in a bad mood for some reason. I hate when I get like this. I know I'll snap out of it - let's just hope I don't actually snap first.

4 comments:

octoberwildchild said...

who... are you... tellin!!

haahahahaaa well, i think it's pretty obvious i am a bitch, but i've learned to control it and explain it. sometimes situations really bring it out of you through no fault of your own. we are all a work in progress, ya know!

don't be too hard on yourself. at least you're not as bad as me.

Scrilla said...

Thanks fo putting it all into perspective! You show me what I could become - it scares me......

octoberwildchild said...

well damn... yeah i guess i am THAT bad. *sigh* oh well. :)

cheers!

Unforgettable Moments said...

Its ok, I realized you were crazy in the 6th grade.