Nothing personal....it's just business

I swear - the corporate world gets ahold of you and it's like a death trap! It's all a money game and you gotta know how to play or else you will lose. Not just money though, politics too. I've never liked politics, but I do like to have money - which is where the conflict of interest comes into play; do I go for the promotion and act like I care to get more money - or do I stay where I am and continue to walk the original path I laid out for myself when I started here?

When I worked out the calcuations I think I started drooling at the thought of getting a raise - but when I thought about what baggage comes along with it, I have to step back and try to see the whole picture. What is the best move for my "career"? And I say "carrer" because it's really a job to me - not a career, only because I can't see myself doing this long term. It's all for the love of the dough right? Ugh. And once you get further up the corporate ladder, it's a long hard fall back down to what I like to call the "real" world. It gets so much harder to make a career change once you set up a particular lifestyle for yourself which is based on that good ole' corpoate salary. Unless you manage to save up enough cushion funds to support if you take a pay cut from a career change, you are stuck!

What's a girl to do?

Oh happy day....

I love that song.


I had a whole other post written and ready to go - but I'm tired of sounding depressed or troubled all the time when I'm actually neither. So let's be happy today, shall we?

Ok, this is what I'm happy about:

Grad school is not as bad as I was making it out to be. I just was caught off guard and it upset me for a second, but I'm ok now. Last night's class was actually pretty good and I'm understanding this stuff better than I thought I would. It doesn't hurt that this is the second time around for this class (even though my first one was like 8 years ago - but I didn't even care back then). Hopefully I can get through this other seminar class without kirking out on anyone. I won't even dwell on the 10 books and articles I have to read in the next month - I'll just do it.

My love. Oh love. I try not to be all mushy and gushy about this, but every once in awhile I feel the need to put it out there - only because every day it gets better and it's unbelievable to me. There are so many small things that just add up so great. I try not to think about it too much just in case things ever change - wait, let me stay positive - let me just enjoy this while I have it. I thought love like this was fiction.

The weekend is almost here!!! I am SO happy. I have to go shopping for a few things, nothing major - but shopping always excites me. I just have to control myself and not spend more than I budgeted. That is always a challenge, but I'm up for it!

I can't wait until next weekend. Hanging with friends is always fun and this will be no exception. Not to mention taking a couple days off from work - who doesn't love that!?

Well, that's all the positive energy I can put forth this fine morning - enjoy your day people!

Spoiled Brat

I never thought I was a spoiled brat until 2006 around my birthday. I was turning 25 and I wanted to go celebrate at a particular place. When the place told me I couldn't celebrate there and there was nothing I could do about it - I darn near had a conniption! And I felt bad about it because I felt like I was pouting for something minor, and I felt like a baby.

The fact is - I don't like to be disappointed, I don't like my plans to be changed and I don't like for someone to tell me no. I mean, who does? But for some odd reason I have been taking those challenges really hard in recent times. When I was younger, either I didn't care as much, didn't get disappointed as much, or rarely got told no. Whatever the case may be, I never felt like a spoiled brat until NOW. Out of all of my flaws, this one bothers me most because it affects my mood and behavior extremely. I want to stop.

This week has been rough on me for numerous reasons. And the overall picture is that I am truly, truly blessed - so I have no real reason to complain. But when issue after issue was arising everyday, I felt like my world was crumbling and it took real effort to say "This is not THAT bad - it will pass, you are blessed, so cut it out." And I almost feel like I'm in some sort of movie or book and now this chapter is over. The storm has seemed to pass and I feel all better now. my problem now is that I need to figure out how to cope better with my emotions when I'm in the midst of the storm. I am so lucky to have a partner who knows this about me and accepts it, because when I say pouty, spoiled and bratty.....man, he gets the brunt of it and he doesn't even care.

I remember a friend once telling me how she was saying to someone how it seems like it's always something happening to her - and he told her "Yeah, it's called LIFE." I think that sums it up right there.

Every day can't be sunny. We need rain to make the flowers grow.