You know what....I love you.

Yes YOU!! My people!! I love the silent bond that the majority of us share (excluding Bill Cosby's daughter - she can't relate) with each other.

I just started a new job and without having to make an announcement in front of the whole company, it is understood that I am an woman of African-American decent. As soon as I walk down the halls, if I see another person similar to myself, there is an extra smile and "HELLO!" exchanged between us, along with the look saying "We got another one working here now!? Yes - hallelujah!" Even my people just walking down the hall past my office will take a few steps back to specifically say hey and introduce themselves. It's a shame people don't act like that outside of work :/

Nevertheless, I love it - and I love you. Keep the bond strong!

Uneasy

So I was talking with a co-worker of mine yesterday. She's a few years younger and less experienced in life, love, and careers which is one of the reasons I talk to her - to give her some insight from my own experiences. So we were discussing her no-good cheating man and another male friend of ours:

Her: So he's a cheater too!!!??? He's no good??

Me: Please girl, what men are?

Her: NO! Don't say that! I still have hope that there are good ones out there.

Me: I don't. Sadly.

Her: Well, what about YOUR man? Is he good? You still have hope with him right?

Me: Honestly.......ok, yeah I guess. But let me be real with you - I HOPE he doesn't cheat on me. What I HOPE more, is that if he does I NEVER find out.

Her: I heard that.

But now I'm questioning myself. How much ignorance is really bliss? I mean, I'm not talking about having hard evidence and being in denial - but I'm more talking about do you just go off of faith and trust and hope, or do you go a little deeper and casually check on things to make sure everything is all good? Like is going through a cell phone an invasion of privacy, or a security measure? Popping up at a place you'll know he'll be - stalking or surprise inspection? To what extent do we just let things go? How long should you have blind faith?

I guess if there aren't any signs and no instinctual feelings of dishonesty, then you should leave well enough alone - but......

Spring Love!

Ok - so for some reason, I am super excited and happy about the alleged Beyonce-Jay-Z wedding that supposedly took place this past Friday. I don't know what it is about them getting married that makes me so happy! Maybe its because she and I are the same age and I've been a DC/Bey fan for so long that I feel like she's a friend of mine and we kinda grew up together over the past 10 years. Plus, I love me some Jay and I love the two of them together and they've managed to maintain a relationship over the past 6 years in Hollywood when most people can't even stay together for 6 minutes without us hearing about a break up or divorce. I just love it - I love it all and I'm mad I wasn't invited :(

My own love is cool too. I mean, we're no Bey and Jay, but best believe O -n- E are the hotness!! And I swear there's not enough time in the day to spend together and say all that needs to be said. But when I say there's not enough time, I mean it.....I feel asleep at 7:00 last night. 7:00!!!!!!!!! I mean, I put great-grandmothers to shame! I need to get it together.


Anyway, workplace romance is not the business. And me being fun, fabulous, and flirty is not cool either (apparently). I went out with co-workers this weekend and two different couples, or couple-like pairs were part of the group. Now I'm cool with both the guys and one of the girls, so I'm used to hanging with them and socializing all the time. These 'relationships' are both new though and I guess the interactions between us weren't something they were used to, so now I have to tone it down to make the ladies more comfortable. Ain't that some mess! I mean, I can fully understand where they are coming from, but it sucks. It like, before he was your man, he was my friend - and most likely when yall brake up (cuz you probably will) he'll still be my friend. AND I have a man and have NO interest in yours!!! I mean, WTF! I'm just venting, cuz honestly I hate my boyfriend having female friends also, but you know what....I deal with it, and I don't tell him to stop doing anything he's doing, because I'm secure and comfortable in myself and in our relationship. Am I wrong? Should I stop? Do I have to show more loyalty to my gender and not my male friends? This sucks.

Spring love.

Big Love

I love that show. I could never be one of three wives, or any number other than 1 for that matter. I do, however, understand how you can love more than one person at the same time.

I find myself thinking about it from time to time, you know, being with more than 1 person. I mean - I love who I am with and wouldn't want to be with anyone else......but......well, I can't explain it. Ok, let me put it like this - and maybe I am immoral, unethical and uncouth for saying this, but I know a lot of people think this way and just don't say it outloud! Anyway, I can love person A, hang out with person B, and my love doesn't change for my main squeeze. It's hard because the thought of someone cheating on me gives me knots in my stomach and I want to cry at the thought - but I can totally understand how you just do things to do them, not feel guilty about it, and not have any less love for the person you are with. Does that make it right - heck no! But I understand. I really don't want to do it, because I beleive in karma and if I don't want it done to me, well.....I better stay faithful.

But different people can give you different feelings, and you can love them in completly different ways, I think. I think it's our selfish nature to want people all to ourselves. I ain't mad at it, cuz I don't wanna share my man either! And as much as it might hurt when someone strays, it really doesn't mean they don't love you - even if that's how we feel. Or shoot, maybe it does and I just don't know it and am in denial. Who knows. I'll do my best to practice fidelity in the meantime.

I'm glad

Ok, so this is like a continuation from the last post (and yes I have other stuff to talk about, but I don't feel like it right now).

Anyway. I think Jennifer Lopez (or whoever wrote this song) said it best.....

Baby when I think about
The day that we first met (the day that we first met)
Wasn't lookin for what I found
But I found you
And I'm bound to find happiness in being around you

[Chorus:]
I'm glad when I'm makin love to you
I'm glad for the way you make me feel
I love it cause you seem to blow my mind every time
I'm glad when you walk you hold my hand
I'm happy that you know how to be a man
I'm glad that you came into my life
I'm so glad

[Verse 2:]
I dig the way that you get down
(you get down for 'bout)
And you still know how to hold me
(and you still know how to hold me)
Perfect blend, masculine (can't get enough now)
I think I'm in love, damn finally

[Chorus:]
I'm glad when I'm makin love to you
I'm glad for the way you make me feel
I love it cause you seem to blow my mind every time
I'm glad when you walk you hold my hand
I'm happy that you know how to be a man
I'm glad that you came into my life
I'm so glad

[Bridge:]
I'm glad that you turned out to be
That certain someone special
who makes this life worth living
I'm glad you're here just loving
So say that you won't leave
Cause since the day you came
I've been glad

[Chorus:]
I'm glad when I'm makin love to you
I'm glad for the way you make me feel
I love it cause you seem to blow my mind every time
I'm glad when you walk you hold my hand
I'm happy that you know how to be a man
I'm glad that you came into my life
I'm so glad

*sigh*

Well I guess I can't fight it anymore.

I was trying and trying to keep it from happening, but it's too strong.

I'm still holding on tight, but I'm slowly losing my grip.

Part of me wants to just let go and just BE - but another part of me is saying "Nuh uh girl, keep it together! We all we got!"

What will happen if I do, huh?

I remember a fortune cookie saying "You'll never know what you can do unless you try." It's so true.

I mean, if things don't work out as planned, I'll survive - I guess.

I just didn't want to put myself through the fire again.

You can't really live life if you're guarded all the time though.

Maybe it's time to put down my shield, just a little.

A friend told me recently that I'm basically living a lie. She didn't say it quite like that though.

I guess she was right. I don't wanna be a liar anymore.

Ok.

Here we go - I'm letting go.......

How's that song go....Cuidado Con mi corazon - yeah negro, take heed or feel the wrath.

My romantic pattern...

According to tickle.com, this is my romantic pattern:

your romantic pattern is Love Conquers All!

At its core, the romantic pattern called Love Conquers All, is romantic, triumphant, and full of courage to face yourself with honesty.But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: A tug of war between the desire for the love of your life, and a fear of commitment.

You may also find that challenges come from family and society — even yourself. Do loved ones disapprove of your partner, raise concerns you hadn't previously cared that much about?


Turning points may also stem from previous obligations at work, or in promises you've made to others. Do you reschedule or delay plans with your partner because you feel the need to honor responsibilities at the office? Do you prioritize taking care of a friend in need over the needs of your mate?

Ambition to be loyal to loved ones, move ahead at work, improve your home, see the world — these are all good things. But sometimes, they take precedence over your love life — whether you are conscious of it or not.

Remember Nicolas Cage in the film "Family Man"? Through a strange twist of fate, he's given the opportunity to see life as it might have been had he gotten married instead of pursued successes at work. Though fantastical and magical, he experiences a jarring event, and through it, realizes he has different priorities. He would give up his important job and expensive belongings to be with the one woman he realizes he truly loves. And he realizes that his initial choice to pursue his career instead of pursue his relationship was driven not by his hopes for success, but his fear of taking on the seriousness of his relationship. Through this realization, he has the courage to face himself, not preexisting hopes and goals.

Even if fate doesn't throw obstacles in your way, it's possible that you do. Do you shy away from romantic commitments? Do you make excuses for not dating? Do you wish your relationships never progressed past the lovey-dovey stage? Are the people you date "all wrong" for you? There's a reason you're holding back from pursuing a good thing. You may put excuses between you and another person, or you may intentionally pick the wrong person to give you an alternative to getting serious. The real courage in your romantic pattern comes from taking a good look at yourself, and questioning your motivations.

Once you recognize this as your pattern, you will indeed have the courage and the insight to question yourself, and make a commitment, or a break with someone, before external events force you to. In this manner, Courage is one of the most noble and truthful romantic patterns out there.

In "Notting Hill," Julia Roberts plays a movie star whose career (not to mention awful boyfriend) get in the way of a fledgling romance with a London bookseller (Hugh Grant). In "Autumn in New York," a cheating playboy played by Richard Gere finds himself in love with a dying 22-year-old. Will he mend his ways before it's too late? The romantic pattern that drives these plots is the same that drives your fantasies and relationships, which is why these stories can be so powerful. Of course, in the movies it's always clear just whom the lead person should hook up with. In real life, it's quite a bit harder. Love Conquers All, and now you're equipped to find it.


I think this is on point. Guess I have some changes to make.

That Feminine Touch

You know, there is nothing that can compare to the love from a woman. Whether it be your mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, cousin, or friend - women are the most loving people on this earth. Without even having to say anything, a woman who knows you well enough will know what to say to you to make you happy, make you cry, make you laugh or whatever the situation may call for.

I really try to cherish the women in my life and appreiciate them as much as I can. I know who to call when I have problems with work, food, men or other friends - and I know who to call when I need to cry, vent or laugh. I am so lucky to have supportive women in my life who are in tune with my feelings and emotions so that we can communicate without having to use many words. It feels good to know what to expect and to be able to relate to another person in such a way that you both know what needs to be said (or not said) in order to get the point across.

Thanks ladies. Luv u!!

"When I say I HATE you say MEN!"

I hate

*MEN*

I hate

*MEN*


Yeah, yall know what I'm talkin bout - with their sexy asses.

I hate the sweet text messages that make you smile, I hate the deep voice that soothes you at night and says just the right things. I even hate the hugs they give you that make you feel all warm and soft. GOD I hate them so much. Why can't they just go away and stop causing me grief!

What I hate most about men, is that I love them so much. Why? Why do I love them and I hate them? F*ck. I'm screwed for life....hopefully, lol.

Is it the way....

Text messages that say "I love you baby!"

Kisses while I sleep.

Massages in the dark.

Holding my hand while walking down the street.

Calling me in the middle of your Madden/Poker/Football game.

Rubbing my eyebrows while we lay in bed and stare at each other.

Watching Flavor of Love or some other ridiculous show with me.

Bringing me chocolate when I didn't even ask.

Giving up "guys' night out" to be with me.

Calling me "baby" and "boo boo".

I love you too.